Well, Dear Reader, I have been posting new items to this web-site – to my ‘Republicans (Part 3): The 2016 Campaign Season’ page – posting new quotes every few days with yours truly sticking her two cents into the scene of Republicans stepping in it then inserting their foot in their mouth.
Let’s see if I can post something new. Maybe shine a little light on the topics at hand.
I have been collecting odds and ends for a while – nowhere to put them on their own blog page because they are quick thoughts too short on their own.
Allow me to welcome another friend Alana and her current web-site.
Try this post to start: ‘http://1translife.blogspot.com/2016/07/hello-and-welcome-to-my-blog.html’
She also does ‘Dreamy Morning’ – the book and web-site. Check her site if you love great photography and music: ‘http://www.dreamymorning.com/Dreamy-Morning-The-Story’
This topic goes strange when right-wingers seize the commentary.
Right-wing talker Lars Larsen ranted last month how it is so horrid for a transgender M-F student to use the girls’ restroom at school (‘the transgender bathroom issue as a political issue’) yet raised no objection for a F-M student to use the boys’ restroom (‘no one would notice’).
We are familiar with Laresen’s reasoning – that a M-F who passes well is much more acceptable than the one who is still in that awkward stage – to the Republicans and conservatives, looks and appearance are the only criteria to who uses what facility. Exactly what Larsen said and meant is that Republicans will not agree and will not accept a very burly F-M use the women’s room. (Frustration. I came upon a recent video to this point. Dr. Drew was debating a Christian Conservative; a trans woman capabably defended her self and her position. I’ll put that link here when I find it. Up-date 28 Aug 16: Here it is ‘http://genderanalysis.net/2016/07/the-social-paradox-of-passing-gender-analysis-23/’ – thank you, Zinnia.)
Larsen slickly melded that topic into one in which he reported that a ‘pervert’ was arrested at a Target store for taking videos of women at the store’s changing department. See how easily he transformed an innocent trans person into a ‘pervert’.
Marissa, our friendly neighbour to the north, let’s us know how these laws are quite silly: ‘https://marissainthemaking.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/this-bathroom-thing-is-really-becoming-silly/’. Thank you, Marissa.
One week later of that Target story, the Georgia State Supreme Court ruled that it is perfectly legal in their state for a ‘pervert’ to make those intrusive videos (that Court declared that shoppers can’t presume privacy at a public store). Larsen was silent at this story. Was he or his followers quietly planning an excursion to Georgia?
In past years, a simpler definition applied to the M-F, there was a linear progression:
- the super-macho who played the rough sports in the neighbourhood and at school, they dated many girlfriends, they went into the military, they fathered children, they took on the ‘manly’ jobs in the world of work, they presented that ‘manly’ image including beard, husky voice, and rugged attire.
- the super-femme whom others perceived as girly, bullies attacked him as ‘gay’; he enjoyed smelling the flowers, playing with dolls; he shared tea parties with their girl friends or sisters; he may have been awkward or disliked rough play, he completed school coursework in what are defined as ‘female’ subjects, sought employment in ‘female’ categories.
Weren’t people surprised when that macho of all macho men came out as M-F. As one famous M-F described herself, she was ‘super water boy on the high school football team’. There are posts and sites of such people who found themselves better as female than that fake macho-male they were performing as a pretense.
Of course that super femme was not gay, it was society lacking comprehension – not understanding that identity and orientation are quite different.
And thus we achieve our true potential.
I got to thinking a bit more solidly how we all communicate with each other on quite an amazing shared experience level – even those of us who may have differring shared experiences.
Correct me where my presumptions are wrong. You are a male born and raised. You have all the correct anatomy – physically anyway. And you have the female gendered brain as your story.
Then there is my past. Retrospectively learning my birth anatomy is mal-developed female yet raised as a ‘male’ and corrected to female; likewise always the female gendered brain as my story.
Then think of this if I can figure a way to write it the way I am trying to think of expressing it.
How and when would a male (you) and a female (me) ever really discuss intimate sexual issues and ‘compare notes’? Really intimate and deep. Likely rarely.
Yet here we (you and me, ‘we’ all collectively) hold quite a frank and intimate discussion in which, anatomically-speaking, a male (you) and female (me) would hardly engage – even long-time married couples – in the world outside the transsexual community.
We who have travelled the path (both female and male) are teaching you the intimacies to be female.
Or at least this is my presumption based upon my experiences living in both the male world and the female world.
As a ‘male’, no female discussed her intimate anatomy with me as deeply as we all discuss our intimacies here – discussion beyond the family hour. The closest during my ‘male’ days was Terry, my co-worker where I was employed by the Forest Service when I resided at Utah. She mentioned a few issues in brief comments – the most intimate was when she remarked that her uterus gave her sexual pleasure until her hysterectomy, and then she got bored with sex. I took her comment as a learning experience on female anatomy rather than what she may have been presumed as a teaching experience to a ‘male’ friend’s sexual understanding of a female partner.
In fact, no other female discussed her intimate anatomy to me as a ‘male’ as did Terry that brief time. To Terry, I was her ‘safe’ male with whom she considered a reliable, dutifull, asexual male. I was active in feminist politics; she perceived me female-empathetic. She had her boyfriends while we were co-workers, but called upon me to certain tasks rather than them – e.g., move her furniture when she wanted to re-arrange her living room, move and re-connect her washer / dryer.
As a female post-transition, I described female co-workers who presumed I was pregnant by recognising my symptoms of morning sickness brought by my exogenous estrogen prescription. They discussed very intimate details that I had to feign in agreement. After all, I did not tell them I am transsexual and of my complicated anatomy.
As for guys … ha! When I was living as a ‘male’, the other males in my life NEVER discussed their intimacies. They were all about their exploits and conquests. Eeww! I know what I am and I had to listen to them blather. I don’t go so far as hating males, but no wonder I prefer Lesbian than heterosexual. As a female, it is more so; males use their ‘code’ around me when they do not want me to understand them. I failed at ‘male code’ as a ‘male’, I can hardly comprehend ‘male code’ as female.
You, my friend, likewise will arrive and appear at this stage. You are beginning your female world having endured these past X-number of years in a male world foreign to your comprehension – same as we M-F and (F-)M-F.
You like short-hemmed skirts and dresses.
Here’s an alternative way to find such attire – find a ‘petite’ size.
I was shopping for clothes one time – probably this specific event was 1985. I found this lovely dress – all the correct blue coloring matching my color scheme. This dress had styling that I liked. It was the correct size, but it was a ‘petite’; I’m 5′ 11″. I tried it on and it fit well so I bought it.
I’m certain that the skirting of this dress would have been at knee-level or thereabouts for a ‘petite’ height female. For my height, that skirting was a bit higher above the knee.
So, try on a ‘petite’ version of a dress you fancy, see whether it fits well, and if it is high enough for your liking.
My clothing came to be well co-ordinated including the matching male office shirt, the female sweater / vest / pull-over, sox, and shoes as I progressed through feminisation and transition. Looking back, this attire surely upset my employment surroundings – mostly when I really went full steam ahead at my Utah office location. There are some pull-over sweaters that I wore to accessorise with my male office shirt that I see nowadays are very clearly quite feminine in coloring and appearance. I now look at them and wonder how I ‘passed’ as male at work – especially by 1983, 1984, and definitely 1985. Among my favourite is an off-white sweater with shades of pastel blue. I see it now and ponder.
I had a lot of moxie wearing those clothes at work and expecting others to accept my presenting as male. No wonder my supervisor pulled me into her office and accused me of being a female at work. She was so correct, my male presenting was a total failure by 1983.
You will soon learn that smart lesson about what to wear up top – how females protect our assets in our own way as males protect their assets in their own way.
Cotton is best to wear underneath – up top and below. Especially during Summer months.
You are yourself – you are not micro-focussing on male or female in what you wore. You dressed in your uni-sex female wardrobe. No one mis-gendered you as male though you made little effort beyond basics to present your natural self as female.
You presented as female and so others perceived you as female. Had you presented as male in the same attire, others would have perceived you as male – until, as others call it, you ‘male fail’.
I ditched my male attire by 1979 and replaced it with uni-sex female attire. The only clothing that could be identified as male were my business office shirts – required while I worked at the personnel department for the Forest Service. Denim pants / jeans are part of the official Forest Service uniform so I wore my women’s wear jeans every day.
I learned early that I had to wear something to protect myself from getting rubbed raw. A bra was out of the question when I was presenting as male at work, that was another reason why I wore T-shirts to help hide my ‘girls’ under this male office shirt; the soft cotton fit that bill. Sometimes a soft paper towel helpt. I frequently added some type of sweater vest over my office shirt – women’s wear, of course.
The way I put it – at least when I was at where you are now, as well as life in general, as we hit various mileposts – is that it was merely a period at the end of that sentence in one paragraph of the current chapter of a book with many more chapters of your life yet to be written and read.
You are placing one piece of your life’s puzzle into the grid that has an unlimited number of pieces. It is enough to keep the edges filled; the middle looks familiar, but where to put each piece is a mystery.