‘Life Goes On’


(26 Jan 17)

‘Life Goes On’


A big Kapung Khaf to start this essay:

  • Thank you Ildi for your nice picture – it reminds me of our good times together last year.
  • Thank you Evelyn for your well-wishes to me.  A big KAPUNG KHAF for the back-up pictures; you are a life-saver.  I am feeling great now.
  • Thank you Alana.  You are my friend.  We can share so much.


Here makes interesting reading what I found in my files:


This article warns against surgery for people past age 40 – under specified circumstances.

  • ‘Warning for SRS’

It discusses the important issues that some people make transition and surgery as their correct decision while others fail to make all the necessary considerations which then leads them to the wrong decision.

The article demonstrates that some people knew little of their motivation.  This article warns of improper motivation.

These important points are obvious about M-F SRS / GCS:

  • It works for you because you sexually identify as female – you enjoy the female Big ‘O’, whether taking care of your ‘duty’ or sharing the experience with your partner.
  • Surgery fails when the person still sexually identifies as anatomic male.

The basis for concern extends to the early days of surgery approval.  Sexual function and pleasure are different from male to female.  The M-F who has habituated to a lifetime of active male sexual function is set to be extremely disappointed at that loss in exchange for female sexual function.  Younger patients – those who exhibited childhood feminine protesting and transitioned during their teens and twenties – have far less concern because we likely had few, if any, established male experiences.

I have come to know several people who have either transitioned or are now transitioning at a starting age older than 40.  They are sure of themselves.  Their motivation is correct.  Yes, maybe some were married as a male and fathered children; they did so because they were trying to ‘be a man’, but such an attitude was failing them anyway.

I knew my true reasons:

  • I self-identified as female since earliest memory,
  • I lacked sexual anatomy to function as a male,
  • I lacked male sexual function experiences.

I hold only one regret with the versions of my surgery leading to my completeness – that I did not do it better.  I did what I could for what was available for my time.  Formal programs (Stanford, Janus) were overly-cautious gatekeepers for their time, for my time.

You today have it much better; I’m happy for you, today’s trans, who have it better.  I fear that the political change will make it worse – perhaps put us all in jeopardy.

The article also commented about cross-dressing.  I crossed only in a very loose definition of it; I crossed because I identify as female.  I’d wear 3-piece suits if that is my culture’s female attire.


Great minds think alike.

I was also reading old notes that happened to include information about FFS related to spirit friend Cara’s latest WordPress post, ‘Happy New Year’:

Here is that other URL:

This article’s commentary is ‘interesting’ (eh, Cara?) history about FFS.  It discusses the work of Dr Douglas Ousterhout and Dr. Suporn Watanyusakul.  Dr. Ousterhout is an FFS innovator who developed FFS.  Anyone who has had, or will have, or knows someone, or who cares about FFS will render their gratitude to his work making this procedure routine for M-F trans.

Did you read the diary portion of this article?  I give credit to those who endure it.

It would be so cool if you who need it could get the FFS that you want.


Recall what happened last year when I fell asleep with my computer on my lap, awoke startled, and it landed on the floor.  Computer recovery recently checked the hard drive of my PC that ‘crashed’.  They told me that it is good – that they will make a copy of that hard drive.

That is great news.  The computer is fairly well ‘new’ for me (I bought it used in 2015 and used it for only a few months), though it is probably at least five years old.  It may not have too much actual damage, but I might just as well take it for recycling and find a replacement from the refurbisher for a cost of $100.

I can also give a great big KAPUNG KHAF to friend Tess who gave an older Apple portable computer to me.  Okay, it is Apple.  It is her gift that I accept graciously.  I can make use of it, learn it, and use it to get off the iPad what I need to save.


I attended a recent Tuesday Spectrum.

Small world.  Heather (the mother of a teen F-M) is from the same small community where I once resided.  Her mom and I attended the same regional high school as school-mates; we both knew some of the same people.

Heather and her son have been attending Spectrum at least since 2015.  Heather and I meet with Spectrum’s SOFFA group.  She and her son also meet with the trans male group.  She has that mixed feeling about her son – she feels sad losing her daughter while she feels enthused for her new son who started ‘T’ and changed his name last month.

Congrats to all!


I want to make plans late-February for a drive to the county lien auction.

I had done well investing in them in prior years. It’s time to resume now that my focus is improving.


RIP Phoenix TG-Harmony.

It was nice knowing you and all the great people:

  • JJ
  • Alana
  •  Stephanie
  • Lynn
  • Kim
  • Sandi
  • Kristina
  • Alexis

Pardon me for those I forgot. You did not attend often enough for us to get to know each other.


We are losing the entertainers and musicians of our time:

  • Mary Tyler Moore (actress, comedienne, Juvenile Diabetes activist) died, age 80.
  • Butch Trucks (Allman Brothers band drummer) died, age 69.
  • Barbara Hale (actress most famous as Della Street in the ‘Perry Mason’ TV series).
  • Mike Connors (actor most famous in his ‘Mannix TV series).
  • John Hurt (movie actor).


Thank you for reading, my friends.


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