(13 Apr 17)
The Baan Siri Dragon greets you for Songkran – today is Thai New Year. May the Baan Siri Dragon confer to you all his blessings and good will for your coming year.
Well, as of the time when this posts here at Phoenix, Arizona, USA, it is Songkran anyway. Thailand is 14 hours ahead of Arizona – it is already Friday at Bangkok. By now, Songkran is petering out; revellers are planning for next year. Maybe I can join for 2018 (2560 if I have my Thai years correct).
I tried to post this when it was Songkran at Thailand, but my computer took over and demanded up-dates.
Okay, I’ll settle for posting this while it is still 13 Apr 17 here at the USA.
We of the Thai experience find Songkran as another day to celebrate another new year. Lemme see, there’s our Western New Year, China’s Lunar New Year. What else ya got out there?
Now, Dear Reader, allow me to briefly describe my recent life experiences.
Phoenix ‘Pride’ was earlier this month.
I lost my ‘Pride’ virginity this year. This was my first time at the ‘Pride’ fair. I guess it was okay.
Really, there were a few stages playing extremely loud music such that we working the Trans Spectrum booth could barely hold a conversation. The audio engineers set the level of bass so much that I vibrated the entire time and felt my innards vibrating for several hours afterwards.
There were many participant booths. People and organisations represented and supported the rainbow of the LGBT community – the entire alphabet soup including Q, I, A, and others. I browsed during my break from duty at our Trans Spectrum booth
My thanks to all the participants. I frequently commented that we in our community all have made quite a change – improvement – since my time 40-some years ago. Let’s hope we can continue our forward progress.
Many people browsing the booths dressed in various attire. Some wore elaborate costumes that must take hours to design and put on, plus the make-up that they use. Some wore little more than stickers up top and little more than dental floss between the legs. Hey, this was their time to be free in public – celebrate human life and all its variations and creative thought.
The two days were hot and the Sun shone brightly over Phoenix; those who wore little returned home with a severe case of sunburn.
I attended a screening of ‘Upstairs Inferno’ at the Phoenix Public Library last week (5 Apr 17).
‘Upstairs Inferno’ is a documentary of the 1973 arson at the New Orleans ‘Upstairs’ club.
This crime was the largest mass murder of LGBT – 33 persons – until last year’s ‘Pulse’ massacre.
The producer held a panel discussion of this documentary afterward; one of the relatives spoke during their commentary.
Thank you, to those who brought this event to town and to those who bore witness.
This tragedy needs to be better well-known – whether among our community or among the general population.
CBS ‘The Talk’ reported (11 Apr 17) that Caitlyn Jenner published an autobiography and in it she confirms that she recently had her GCS a few months ago. That news seems to explain why Jenner has been off the news.
ABC TV is running a promo that they will be airing a follow-up interview with Jenner next Friday (21 Apr 17).
- I wonder what version of GCS / SRS she did.
- Where did she go? Thailand? Montreal? San Francisco?
- Did she come here (Arizona) to Dr. Meltzer?
- Will she go to Ye-son?
- What will she say in defence of Donald Two-Two’s assail against the trans community? Our community.
- How can she defend her Republikan Party’s nation-wide attack of trans rights?
- When has she used the female restroom at Trump Tower of Babel? How was she received?
- How about Jenner using the female restroom at a supermarket at rural North Carolina? Or at the North Carolina state capitol?
Discussion on various boards and pages remain skeptical of Jenner and her sincerity of her support for our community – she is, after all, now part of our community.
She has been leading a very exclusive, haughty lifestyle these past many decades. She has been living in male privilege all these past years.
That University of Michigan research study published 2007 concluded that M-F transsexuals who do not transition til after age 50 have a difficult time assimilating to female because they have a long life as a male, with years of society’s male privilege, and using their male anatomy. Many reported regret for transition and surgery – that they would de-transition and live as male if they could – but it is too late for them.
- ‘Warning for SRS’
Jenner is in for quite a bumpy ride if she fails to get her female act together!
How much more luckier can we LGBTQIA get than the rolling Trump Machine and its minions – this news report posting at the 13th day of April, at the 13th hour, at the minute divisible by 13:
- News>Campus Beat>Donald Trump Jr. mocked the struggles of LGBT students on Twitter
- ‘Donald Trump Jr. mocked the struggles of LGBT students on Twitter’ – Holly Epstein Ojalvo (13:39 EDT, 13 April 17)
This news report from USA Today informs us that ‘Shrub’ Trump has little thought to life experiences beyond his haughty Trump Tower of Babel.
I put this onus on each and every LGBT community member who voted Trump and Republi-con – whether last year or 30 years ago. I care nothing if you hold little value to your own life and you choose to mess up your own life, but you brought this upon us all – the entire community including all our SOFFAs.
Another fun event at the Phoenix Public Library was their showing of ‘Victor / Victoria’ followed by an episode of ‘Twilight Zone’.
As you Readers know, I have a personal history to ‘Victor / Victoria’; you can read my full post at:
- ‘My Own ‘Victor / Victoria’ Days’ (23 Jul 16)
Off the starting gate, I just knew 30-so-many-years-ago that I could never like that movie because it is a musical – I totally dislike musicals, they slow the story.
I also felt insulted at that movie when it was first released. ‘How dare they!’ whatever. My words and thoughts were the result of my skepticism and ignorance – lesson learned. The story is of German origin from the 1920s – meant to be tragi-comedy.
The movie came on TV one day during the late-1980s or early-1990s. I set my VCR to tape it in case I might want to watch it again – just in case maybe I might like it after all.
- ‘Mikey, he likes it. He really likes it!’
I found the music catchy and memorable.
I found the story quite personal:
- ‘A woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman. No one will believe it. They’ll think he’s a phony.’
Yet there came all my personal memories flooding back to my real, true life. There I was during the 1980s – myself a woman living as a man, female living as a male.
Toward the latter part of the movie was how I felt – stuck doing a job in an environment that I would come to hate – forced to merely exist in a pretense.
There I was – transitioned only part way – female physiologically, medically, biologically, legally, socially, psychologically – yet forced to present as male at work and other parts of my life – ‘a phony’. I, too, was held back – pressed to remain living as that ‘phony’ until I summoned my courage to end it all.
Of course, my personal story lacks the fictional happy ending; I can always dream of better. I lost nearly all my family and friends. They preferred me as a ‘phony’ rather than me as me; I preferred me as me rather than me as a ‘phony’. One had to give; I was not to be that one. Instead of their support, they gave their cold shoulder to me.
I do wish to try finding closure with Clinton D, Lisa C, Mary C, and a few others from my past – making one last correspondence with them. If they accept me – great. If they deny me – then it is their message to me that it is time that I move on from them though they will always hold some piece of my heart; I hold my memories tight and do not want to let go very easily.
Following my initial trial on Norinyl birth control pills, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) was all that was available to me in 1979. I read in recent times that DES is not as effective to feminise as other present-day estrogens. I do know that my first two years on DES were working for me internally (6mg per day, 1979 – 1980), but their results to my external appearance were nowhere as well as compared to my subsequent first two years on Premarin (6.5mg per day, beginning 1983).
Bear in mind the years when I was off meds and only doing phyto-e (1981 – 1983). Phyto-e seemed to help maintain my status, but not so much advance it as would an estrogen prescription.
There was no such thing in the 1970s and 1980s as today’s four-drug cocktail: estradiol, progesterone, Finesteride, and Spironolactone. I see pictures of people nowadays who get immediate feminising results on the cocktail. They have great results by their second year to the extent that they report being taken as cis-female. These results are best for those who are transitioning young (their teens or 20s) versus those who are transitioning later in their life (50s or 60s). But that is obvious. We younger transitioners had less time on testosterone poisoning than those in their 50s or 60s.
My June 1984 picture from my mom’s Box’ (my first year on Premarin) shows minimal feminisation as from my 1981 work ID picture. Then that second year on Premarin really hit when you advance to my 1985 Pima Community College ID picture – how I must have appeared at work by 1985. With that basis, it is obvious that I could not have successfully transitioned to present as female full-time til when I did (1985). Of course, I might have transitioned to female full-time sooner if I had been continuing estrogen non-stop during those empty years (1981 – 1983) – whether DES or Premarin.
That brings us to questions as to what would I / could I have done if I continued DES non-stop . Might my appearance sufficiently feminised by 1981 or 1982 as it eventually feminised on Premarin by 1985?
- Would I / could I have remained as male at Geometronics Service Center as late as 1983?
- Or transitioned at that same employment location (against Stanford’s procedures)?
- Or been re-assigned to another federal appointment elsewhere?
- Or been fired sooner?
I take my fate as it came, though I would prefer that I had the assertiveness to have made it happen at any of numerous times earlier in my life – which is why I give support to trans children and their parents who help them.
I can assert today that if I knew in October 1980 that I could have received my Premarin from my Costa Mesa internist in October 1980 as I eventually did in February 1983, then I would have made annual trips to him beginning October 1980. Instead, I languished in ignorance those two bleak years because I did not know of that opportunity in 1980. Learn from my lesson, Dear Reader.
Bernie Sanders will be holding a campaign rally:
- ‘Come Together and Fight Back Tour’
- When: Friday, 21 Apr 17
- Doors open: 5:30 pm (17.30)
- Where: Mesa Amphitheatre
263 North Center Street
The local Democrats and allies will be ‘building a stronger, grassroots Democratic Party that can take on Trump, fight for our values, and win elections’. Sounds like a ‘go’ to me.
I wanna go. I submitted my reservation ticket request; they confirmed my place in the crowd. I’ll post the goodies if I make it.
Now this brief political point.
- PBS Newshour (14 Apr 17):
- ‘There is hostility at town halls. Republicans are facing a backlash at home at their town hall meetings. Voters parrotted the accusations that Republicans once railed against Obama. Will this anger result in action?’
I frequently watch the PBS ‘Nightly Business Report’ daily market notice. Despite ‘Brexit’:
- the Dollar is dropping in value to both the Euro and Pound Sterling,
- gold is up only a little,
- petroleum / crude oil is rising toward a Summer high.
KFNX 1100 AM Republican right-wing radio network news and talk shows are reporting:
- how the US stock markets are stagnating as they work their way toward a bubble,
- Americans now surveyed declare that they do not want to build or pay for that ‘dang wall’ anymore,
- those same Americans do insist that Congress improve A-C-A and repeal Obamacare.
Our Trans Spectrum support group will be holding two specials this month.
The first special event will be the showing of the National Geographic documentary on trans in America – Tuesday, 18 Apr 17, 6:30 pm.
I have neither read the January issue nor seen that televised documentary. Again I express my skepticism til I know better. I hope that documentary gives full credit to those of our community’s past who built what is possible for today’s trans children; I hope today’s trans children realise their past and give their due. I could not have succeeded without the struggle of my forebears who paved our way. In my life, I salute:
- Christine Jorgensen
- Jan Morris
- Billy Tipton
- April Ashley
- Sylvia Herrera
- Martha P. Johnson
- Lynn Conway
- Frank (my uncle)
- Denise (my mentor)
- Linda (my co-worker)
The second will be our Spring Prom – a special event for ‘5th Saturday’ of April.
This Prom is open to all. Here’s to you my friends in cyberland who may want to join us and meet who we are.
Enjoy the friendship, camradarie, and food.
Thank you for a great new post. LMAO on the humour, commiserated on the misfortune.
If you’ll allow, I’ll post more to you in a day or two.
Kapung Khaf, Dear Reader. Thank you for visiting this brief post.
I was browsing my WordPress ‘Statistics’ page. Wow! Thank you, Readers, who explore some of my posts that I myself have not thought about that faded into my woodwork. I need to re-read my own posts to see where I was and whether I have matured during the interim.
Maybe I shall join Songkran next year – return to visit old friends and make new friends.
Kapung khaf, my Thai experience friends and those of you who read along each post.
Please return soon for another correspondence.