‘The Yin And Yang Of Life’
(3 Apr 2019)
The Yin and Yang of life.
Last week began with what was supposed to be a most wonderfully eventful experience for both Keira and Sarah. Now, one week later, and Keira is gone from her Earthly bounds.
I am so sad at Tuesday’s news of Sarah’s dearest wife Keira’s passing.
Appparently, Keira had her GCS one week ago Monday and both her BA and FFS one week ago Tuesday. Something went horribly wrong.
I don’t know any more details than that.
Why did Keira have food in her system?
Why did she not have had a pre-op fast and cleanse?
Why was she breathing on her own if her capability was insufficient?
Why was her breathing tube removed prematurely?
Why was she eating solid food so soon after surgery?
Why was her post-op recovery room not staffed with round-the-clock nursing?
Was it an aneurysm?
Was it because of all three surgeries so close?
I barely know you – Sarah and Keira – other than when your crisis began last week, yet I am grieving and crying for both of you.
My prayers for both of you.
Yes. Friendships are hard to find.
For most of us, we lose our family and those whom we had called ‘friend’. The best people, perhaps the only people, whom we can find for true friends are those of Our Community because, as we come to learn, to know us deep down pretty much requires someone who is also on this same journey.
Please watch these videos:
Keira’s life will continue within others – she is an organ donor.
Dear Reader. Do your part.
You do regular blood draws for your medical examinations, then you can donate your blood to the Red Cross.
Register with your Bone Marrow donation program.
Be certain to identify yourself as an organ donor when you apply for your driver’s licence or state ID card.
Maria Conalis – this is for you.
Here is one that came upon me during the course of the past few weeks.
I was reading through my Facebook notification files last month and came upon several entries for my Pinewood Alum page. My school-mate was posting photographs from the school’s 1971 graduation ceremony. Pictures of Pinewood students led to debate about the identity of the images from the 1970 – 1971 school year. People identified the students in those pictures, someone misidentified one student, confused with another, so I corrected the identification. A Pinewood school-mate’s ‘Likes’ are newly marked to my post. Thank you.
That led me to back-check from a prior series of posts and comments at that Pinewood page. One thing led to another in the course of exchanging comments and posts. Another school-mate then added her comment about my dear class-mate Maria, but offered no details and no other information in the comment. I was reading what I never thought that I would read – Maria had died.
I did the usual Internet search of Maria’s name, found a few applicable results, and proceeded to make my enquiry; I had to know what happened. I found Maria’s daughter’s web-site from that Internet search. There was the web-site with the explanation:
Yes, Christianna, your mom had a fantastic life! This is so bad what happened to her.
Maria and I were good friends and Pinewood class-mates (1971 – 1973). My most personal memory of Maria was when I was seriously ill most of November 1971; she made the greatest ‘Get Well’ card for me. I keep it in my yearbook.
We were Speech and Drama class-mates, we spent the Spring semester of 1972 working on Pinewood school’s production of ‘Blithe Spirit’. As s small school, those of us not on stage did many other tasks – we did props as well as under-study roles.
We participated as delegates to the 1973 International Model United Nations when we were in 11th Grade. My memory holds that she was a delegate for India, Randy and I represented Sri Lanka.
Doing Internet browsing uncovers surprises discovering life’s twists and turns. Some happy, some sad. Perhaps a ‘dramedy’ in real life. We behold the laugh track only to feel our joy come crashing down to break our heart in the next scene.
So it was that recent Sunday evening.
I was then ditching around doing Facebook name searches the other night. I do that at quiet times, I hope to find long-lost people from my past. That’s all – I just wanna see what they made of life.
One such person is Jeff.
OMG! I found him.
I decided that I can write something for my Facebook page and web-site. No full name, merely general identifying information, just the story of long ago friendship and how people change or stay the same.
Compare Jeff to Maria, she was a kind soul who remembered her past.
Jeff and I grew up together beginning 3rd Grade. His family was a second family to me for many years – even after high school.
We were friends through Boy Scouts together. We tented together when our Troop went camping during school year weekends. We were team-mates during Morse code competition at that Boy Scout Jamboree (1971).
During sleep-overs at his home, we frequently slept in an alcove on the roof – adventurous kids, we were. Looking at the on-line mapping web-site, I found his home where he and I played together. That house is now being re-constructed, our alcove is gone.
I lived with Jeff during the last two weeks before my dad, Slim, and I moved to Greece (1971). I lived with Jeff when my dad, Slim, and I returned from Greece (1973).
I visited Jeff the next Summer when my dad was on his way to Brasil (1974). We went boating and swimming at the lake with other former class-mates; his mom (a nurse) took care of me when I incurred heat stroke. Jeff confided in me of some personal experiences that Summer, but I feared returning the favour.
Our homes were 200 miles apart during those years after Greece. I travelled to visit Jeff and his family as however and whenever I could throughout the years.
Jeff came to visit me when I lived at Williams while working for the Forest Service. I was awkward as a host.
Jeff spent Summer 1983 working for a law firm at Salt Lake City. We visited a few times. That was the last time we saw each other.
I tried to correspond with Jeff at various times since then – e-mails during 1990s. I presented myself to him as only Sharon in my e-mails; I didn’t tell him that I was Nick. I did recount to him the many events that we shared throughout our years of friendship, events that only he and I knew. Dunno if he figured it out. Likely. He never replied to me.
I moved to Phoenix in 1993. I was up for my experiment. Jeff worked at that Phoenix high rise on Central / Osborn that was designed to appear as a keypunch card. He’s the guy I went to wait for at the lobby (January 1994). I was determined to know if Jeff could recognise me after our many years of separation – he didn’t. Or maybe he did and he chose to ignore me, chose to keep walking.
So it came that I browsed the Internet to do some digging on who he has become, to find where Jeff now works. Yep – he is a high-powered professional. Yep – he does lotsa big shot corporate law. Yep – his clients are likewise high-powered corporate movers and shakers, the big boys of society.
I never really thought that he would end up being the hard-core Republi-con Drumpfian that he is today. Good Republi-con. Good Con-servative. Loyal Deplorable.
So different than when I knew him growing up together. Yet it kinda makes sense. His father was a high-paid Wall Street kinda investment broker or whatever.
Jeff’s father had an affair with a teenie bopper; Jeff’s parents divorced while I was at Greece. Jeff’s father abandoned his family – he, his brothers, his sister, and his mother went on hard times.
After high school, Jeff moved in with three or four guys – his home was at a cheap apartment. They split rent while working construction jobs, yet unable to buy furniture. He later worked temporary appointments with Park Service same time when I worked with the Forest Service.
Jeff’s father died a few years later and left him a wad of money; he dropped everything and went to college. Wise decision. Nice to have it all paid, but sad at the expence losing a parent – we who have lost a parent young know that part.
I am glad for Jeff how he put his family disaster behind him and did well. I am sad that he apparently forgot his difficult years scraping by.
Does Jeff now support his Republi-con Party’s effort to reduce Arizona’s Minimum Wage? I wonder what he would tell his 20-something counterpart kid of today who is paid Minimum Wage – say $10 per hour pay – barely making it as he was 40-some years ago.
Ya think that I should let him know that I found him?
I don’t think so. That would not be good. However, as you can see, this is a Public post. Jeff, if you come upon this, or maybe you are someone who knows Jeff, then know that I welcome you however you decide. We can still be friends. Maybe we can meet one last time – to share old memories. Or you can tell me to ‘Drop Dead!’. I have no intention of trolling you, this essay is likely to be the last of my effort to contact you, my curiosity sated.
Closing thought. What if we see each other at a high school re-union?
Thank you for visiting today. Please return for another essay. Meanwhile, enjoy the other compositions.
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