‘It’s A New Century’
(04 Mar 18)
Welcome, Yassou, Wai, and Sahwdee Khaf, Dear Reader.
According to this web-site’s administration, this essay marks my 100th post.
Allow me to present a grab-bag of thoughts along the way.
I watched a few interesting videos on YouTube.
Here’s one about several phases:
- Middle Sexes – Redefining He and She (English – 2005)
Allow me to share another couple films.
I do not recall if these were on the movie list when a university student presented numerous Trans related films at a Trans Spectrum movie night about 18 months ago.
I discovered this first movie about two years ago. Dunno? Was there fate or total serendipity? It came randomly next during a night of YouTube ‘auto-play’:
- ‘Different for Girls’ (©1996)
- (https://youtu.be/RKQvbBMhODw) (English)
- (https://youtu.be/1OYvsDMJsaw) (Spanish)
‘Different for Girls’ is a 1996 British / French drama film in which one of the protagonists is a transsexual woman.’
‘What would you do if your best High School buddy …?’
If nothing else, you can listen to the music track that’s pretty good and watch for the cameo of Ian Dury as the recovery agent.
Another movie is a telling of Renee Richards’ biography:
- ‘Second Serve’
Allow my personal back-story relating to these two films that I may presume to be an experience some others share.
While I lived in stealth during the years of my adult life from 1974 til 2015, using my time to test how well I might be recognisable to people who did know the ‘before’ me but did not know the ‘after’ me became an occasional experiment.
My first such encounter occurred during my move from Utah to Arizona (June 1985). I deliberately drove through where I previously resided. My prior home was an apartment among the buildings lining the main street, downstairs was a small diner, at the corner was a service station.
That June day when I drove through town, I decided to test my presence. I certainly was nervous.
What if someone did recognise me as Nick? Would I acknowledge my past to them or deny any resemblance? What if my presence caused trouble for me? Would my ID and Drivers License as Sharon / female have been enough?
I was greeted with abuse when I drove to the service station for a fill-up. The owner saw me – a 28-years old female – maneuvering towards the gas pumps. I watched as he came out from his desk yelling expletives at me – calling me a dumb ‘bitch’ who had no business driving that moving truck.
The diner was far less involved. The waitress sat me at a quiet table, I ordered lunch, ate, paid my tab, and went on my way un-noticed as any other traveller passing through town.
I have mixed feelings about what happened. These were people who knew me Nick every day for two years (1978 – 1980). Five years later they did not recognise me Sharon. Some sense of relief, some sense of disappointment.
Tonight, after I watched ‘Different for Girls’, ‘Second Serve’ unexpectedly came up next on YouTube’s ‘auto-play’. I made a VHS tape recording when CBS originally broadcast it many years ago; I watched it many times, the last was probably 2014.
Renee Richards is close to my time – we are contemporaries – she did her Transition during early-1970s, her operation was 1975 if I recall correctly.
I followed her legal battle during 1975, 1976.
If you don’t mind, I found multiple comparisons depicted in this Richards film to my own life. Allow me to share these:
- Richards’ complicated communication with her mom. My mom refused to talk to me, refused to accept me.
- Richards’ dad kinda came around but continued calling her Dick rather than Renee. My dad continued calling me Nick, I accepted his use as his affection.
- There will be a scene where Richards forgets her purse, her father takes it to her, and they share a glance and a hug. My gawd! That happened with my dad, too. I’m sure it was awkward to him, but somehow it was a small gesture that still makes me cry thinking about it. Damn, I wish he could have been alive a few years longer.
The ‘Second Serve’ story-line also includes a friend who accompanied Richards’ before, during, after. Dunno if that is a composite characterisation to this film or her actual biography, but it takes me to recall my friendship with Clint when I see that character here – someone who knew me before, during, after – though he did not ‘know’ til ‘after’.
Clint and I became best friends early during our 12th Grade (1973). It was following my departure from my Forest Service career when I decided to move to Arizona where he was residing when I was finally prepared to tell him (1985) – it was of necessity because I was now headed to full-time upon telling him. I sat him down and tried to tell him, but he insisted on sharing his own news first – he would be getting married within the week and wanted me to be his Best Man. Sheesh! One more delay – hey, what a way to end Nick going out as my best friend’s Best Man.
I told Clint and his wife about one week after their wedding – time for their event to settle. Clint asked me if I had any sexual feelings towards him. I assured him that I didn’t. Sorry, Clint. In fact, swirling in my mind at his question what I really thought was ‘Ewww!’.
There was Jeff. We grew up together since 3rd Grade (1964). Our families became closely bonded. Their home became a second home to me. The last time when Jeff and I socialised was when he took a job as a lawyer for a Salt Lake City law firm (1983) – coincidence that I already had been living there.
Jeff and I somehow lost touch when he returned here to Arizona. He had his own life – his wife, children, family. I never told Jeff about me in 1983 – or since.
Opportunity struck when I took a job with the State of Arizona (1993). I lacked courage to contact Jeff but I devised one experiment – sit at the lobby of his office building after my workday and merely watch if he passed by. Sure enough that first day, I saw Jeff exit the elevator, walk right past me, and out the door. We were within arm’s length and he did not recognise me. Relief? Disappointment? Dunno? At least I no longer needed to spend any more of my time watching for Jeff.
The ‘Different for Girls’ movie ends with Kim and Prentice as lovers. Dunno? That ending is not in my fantasy. Or at least to say, I currently can’t perceive myself in such a predicament with any male former friend. Ewww!
One closing note of eerie co-incidence: Clint’s birthday is 3 Mar 18.
I remember when during the 1960s the NRA sought extensive bans on firearms.
Of course, peeling back their reasoning it became clear that they sought to ban gun ownership and possession by Black / African-Americans – it was their impetus to dis-arm the Black Panther Party who self-armed as protection from an oppressive government.
The NRA is now a full participant in oppressive government – the very entity that Right-wing, Republi-cons, neo-cons, ‘survivalist’ types rail against are now their own Frankenstein’s monster.
A great big Thank You! I enjoyed listening to and learning from the numerous subsequent video segments that ran on ‘auto-play’.
Of course, you might strenuously object if you are any or all of an Amerikan Right-wing Republi-con Christian Con-servative Evangelical Fundamentalist Taliban Fascist.
This page welcomes and challenges all to ‘liberally’ (there is that other word for ‘freedom’) post your comments – or to ignore this page altogether. It’s your 1st Amendment choice.
The Other 98%
What Wayne LaPierre really thinks about guns in schools
This message from Spirit friend Cara.
‘The NRA used to be sane. Not anymore, and they HAVE changed for the worse and becoming far, far, far more radical and dangerous.
This is where they were, once upon a time. Look at where they are today and weep, for all those murdered every year by firearms.’
‘I have a request to everyone that reads this and wants to start the pressure on politicians. Please start using any of the following hashtags on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media whenever the discussion turns to guns.
Only about 35% of Americans own guns in 2018. Half of 300 million guns, over 150 million, are owned by 3% of the population, just 10 million people. Gun owners are not nearly as numerous or powerful as we’ve been led to believe.
Let’s cut this rot out at the source, then we can enact sensible gun control laws like other first world nations!
‘Five Days Without Estrogen – Transgender Universe’
‘What happens when a transgender woman runs out of hormones in ‘The Weekly Rant’ with Mila Madison.’
No disrespect to the author of her essay. She expresses quite well the panic any one of us endure – especially during our pre-op Transition.
When you are travelling overseas to Thailand, Dr. Chettawut requires all patients cease hormones at least two weeks before departure date. That is to clear your system and avoid the potential for blood clots.
Dr. Chettawut also commands that you not take any hormones til after you return home.
So, at minimum, you are doing without ERT for the next foreseeable six weeks.
Some patients panic at that very thought going that long without your little green or blue magic pills – especially when you have depended on them at least a few years pre-op. They have been your intimate ‘comfort food’. Your physical and psychological dependency.
Your pre-op, pre-surgery jitters are tough going, especially your first days without your pills. As each day approaches your travel day, you realise that you can live those two weeks without your magic pills.
Time eases as you await your surgery date. Pills are likely the last thing occupying your thoughts.
Post-op you likely have little to no concern about pills. You are in recovery, you await your un-packing, you will have daily exams, you must pass ‘final exam’ to receive your travel authorisation.
Once home, you now have gone without hormones at least six, maybe seven weeks or more. That’s quite a stretch that just a mere two months earlier seemed to be an insurmountable obstacle.
Some endocrinologists tell you to wait til you get a blood draw and your first home post-op medical exam before you resume your hormones. Ouch! Another couple weeks.
Ya know what? Now, post-op, that wait doesn’t seem so bad. You’ve had those ‘male dangley bits’ removed – the essence of your ‘testosterone poisoning’.
You may actually feel empowered to go without ERT. Not so good. Work with your endocrinologist and medical team. Most Endos set your post-op blood estrogen level to 200, some higher, some lower.
Most Endos maintain your progesterone.
Testosterone? Hah! That blood level drops down to below 10; some people’s T diminishes to zero. No more T-blockers – no more finesteride, no more spironolactone!
You and your feelings are not alone. We go through these times missing our prescriptions. Panic seems more dire if you are pre-op versus post-op. We find relief getting our script resumed. Share your fears with your friends, your family, your support group.
And so it goes.
You already know my life story, so I shall only summarise it here for you new to my web-site.
I strictly withheld disclosing or admitting to a special few beyond family or mentor of either my Transition or my circumstance – Denise referred me to Stanford, Kathy Q let me use her Norinyl. Otherwise, my entire life was stealth when I began Transition in 1974 til I became public three years ago. Hey, Rusty, if you’re reading this, what did you know? My apologies.
My family knew their suspicions that I was in Transition, they had to expect it eventually. I did tell them all my life – that’s what my ‘Feminine Protesting’ tantrums beginning at age 3 were all about, but they refused to acknowledge what was right in front of them and right under their collective noses.
- My father routinely snooped through my belongings looking for my female attire or other evidence, he intercepted my correspondences with Stanford, he rummaged through my box of medical and Transsexual files.
- I gave copies of my Stanford enrollment papers to my mom in 1978, I showed my pills to my mom in 1979; she said to me, ‘That’s candy’.
- My sister Kathy is still in denial that I wore her clothes through age 21.
If not Transition, then what did they think that I was doing?
This topic is about employment discrimination against Transsexual:
‘Here’s How Trans Women Are Subtly Pushed Out Of Their Jobs’
Employers must adjust their employee evaluation systems to account for systemic sexism or risk losing their Trans employees in the long run.
First, the USDA Forest Service began termination action to fire me on my supervisor’s accusation that ‘You are a woman working as a man; we can’t have that here’. That was 1983 and I was about to enter full-blown ‘male fail’ as I fought that action during the next two years.
Second, I had a successful, award-winning career as an employee for the State of Arizona for nearly 20 years. Then one manager summoned me to her office and promptly began questioning me whether or not I am Transsexual (2006). The agency eventually presented termination papers to me with the charge that being Transsexual made me ‘mentally unfit’ to be a State employee (2008).
I never found gainful employment since then. I had to accept Social Security retirement.
Stanford University Medical Center’s ‘Gender Dysphoria Program’ was wise. They opposed we patients Transitioning at the same workplace. I Transitioned according to their direction. You can read the complete Sanford guidelines elsewhere at this web-site (see: ‘Stanford Gender Dysphoria Program’, 24 Sep 2016).
Forest Service knew my situation from the first day. I submitted my name / sex change to Social Security Administration July 1978, I received my new card September 1978, Forest Service hired me November 1978, with my effective date December 1978. It was SSA’s discrepancy list of January 1979 to my employer that reported my name and sex to Forest Service as Sharon / female different from as I presented at work as Nick / male.
I never disclosed or admitted my Transsexual status to Forest Service. Nor would I satisfy my State agency with that tid-bit these many long years subsequent to my completion of Transition in 1985.
The American frog in that proverbial pot of water is now fully boiled.
Here’s to the Republi-con ‘Contract on America’ and the fulfillment of their ‘Permanent Republikan Majority’.
Here’s to Right-wing Republi-con Christian Con-servative Evangelical Fundamentalist Amerikan Taliban Fascism fully infiltrated into the last days of our fading Constitution.
‘It Can’t Happen Here’ happened November 2016. The only unknown remaining is when our real-life conclusion of ‘It Can’t Happen Here’ will occur here.
After all, was it not Cheney who prattled that he considers the American Constitution as @ss wipes.
Just this week, Crooked Drumpf boasted that he held no regard for this American Constitution – the document that he swore to ‘Preserve, protect, and defend’ means absolutely nothing to him, to his administration, to his ruling Republi-con Party.
That his fellow Republi-cons refuse to act on impeachment and conviction legislation tells us that their entire Party is complicit in this overthrow if our American Constitutional Democracy.
That as much as two-thirds of the American population (one-third who declare themselves Republi-con, one-third who declare themselves ‘Independent’ sycophants) has succumbed into this nadir signifies that the Myrmidons have re-settled on this once-proud land.
Our ‘Experiment in Democracy’ was a fun ride while it lasted. Now where do we go?
How Religion Turned American Politics against Science
- (Big Think Science)
‘The current state of American politics has seriously harmed the perception of science. This can be directly tied to the rise of the Christian Right’
Hitler presented his Holocaust in three simple steps:
- #1: You have no rights.
- #2: You have no rights to live among us.
- #3: You have no rights to live.
We thought ‘Never again’. But it is fomenting here in this American nation. We are between Stage #2 and Stage #3.
Become a ‘Student of the Shoah’. You must stand firm on ‘Never again’.
The ADL – Anti-Defamation League’s most recent report shows an alarming rise in the number of anti-Semitic incidents in the U.S.A.
PBS Newshour broadcast a two-part report on sexual harassment in the USDA Forest Service.
If you are / were a Forest Service employee, perhaps a federal employee at USDA or other federal agency, and you experienced sexual harassment, or know someone who was subjected to such misconduct, endured agency retaliation, then consider corresponding to the specific PBS tip line e-mail and tell your story to the investigators.
I submitted a statement to the PBS Newshour tip line e-mail address though the sexual harassment and retaliation that I endured occurred four decades ago.
PBS Newshour can know that Forest Service, USDA, and other federal agency sexual misconduct, harassment, retaliation has a long, pernicious history. Each of us can do what we can to be certain that it does not continue. If this essay, this referral helps only one person, then that one person is rescued from the lifetime of pain that we others endure.
Social Security’s 2006 erroneous report illicitly issued my private information to the State of Arizona, my employer; my employing agency then initiated termination action against me on their accusation that being Transsexual made me ‘mentally unfit’ to be a State employee (see: ‘Another Sex Change At Social Security’, 31 Jul 2015).
I contacted OPM to obtain copies of personnel documents showing that my sex identification code as a USDA Forest Service employee was ‘female’; recall that the federal agency changed my sex marker from ‘male’ to ‘female’ in 1983.
I was surprised to receive this OPM reply.
I instead learned from OPM what Forest Service did when I needed my federal government records to resolve this Social Security discrepancy that hounded me in 2006 and led to my termination of employment as a State of Arizona employee – the Forest Service sealed my original OPF record and substituted my original record with a ‘transcript’ file.
I make this additional point about the action described in this OPM cover letter.
I never submitted any request to any federal agency to change my file name from Nick to Sharon or to change my sex designation from ‘male’ to ‘female’. It was the OPM Records Center that subsequently communicated to me that my Forest Service employing office’s Administrative Officer who changed my file to Sharon / female before the effective date of my departure (May 1985). That federal agency unilaterally issued their change absent my knowledge, permission, approval, or consent.
I also want to declare that I had many fond times as a federal employee, as a Forest Service employee specific to the source article. I met many fine people at work and through my duties. I achieved many accomplishments that I had no reason to expect when I began my federal career.
The disappointment came from their insidious corporate culture – their harassment, intimidation, retaliation. Unfortunately, that pernicious culture continues four decades later, it harms the function of the agency, it destroys people whose goal is to make their agency and its functions in our society a better place.
‘U.S. Forest Service chief under investigation after complaints of sexual misconduct’
‘The U.S. Forest Service has confirmed that parent agency USDA has “engaged an independent investigator” to look into complaints against Chief Tony Tooke.’
The facts presented by Hartmann’s article speak far better than I can add.
I expect that some people among my ‘Friend’ list can’t be bothered reading this truth. To them, they call the truth ‘Fake News’.
‘The Second Amendment Was Ratified to Preserve Slavery’
‘The real reason for the Second Amendment’s ratification was to preserve slave patrol militias.’
This ‘Message from Women Everywhere’ pops up frequently on my ‘Feed’
The ‘Message’ is clear…
‘A Message From Women Everywhere’ – The Mash Report
- (BBC Two:)
You can read theoretical debate about this topic at other pages. Allow me to present practical considerations.
Too many people who are uneducated about Trans issues fail to grasp practicalities.
Would they require a burly Trans-man use the female restroom? Can you imagine a Trans-man with a beard, muscles walking into the woman’s restroom?
Do they not comprehend that ‘bottom surgery’ can’t be a requirement when only 25% to 30% ever achieve ‘bottom surgery’? When will the opposition support universal health care for Trans persons who need health care?
Lemme share experiences.
I met a man using the woman’s restroom at the Public Library a couple years ago. I felt no fear about his presence. I asked him why he was using the woman’s restroom – he told me that MEN molested him in public men’s restrooms. Fair enough, I accepted that he was honest with me.
Then this happened two more times. I talked with each man in the woman’s restroom.
They admitted the same – that a MAN molested them in the men’s restroom.
Maybe we need a law to prohibit MEN from the men’s restroom?
I can also write about all the times when I witness a mom bring her son into the woman’s restroom. Why? Because mom fears that a MAN will molest her son while her son uses the men’s restroom.
Seems to be that MEN are the danger, that all MEN should be prohibited from using all public restrooms according to reasoning. Certainly we feel safe with a Trans person because we know no event of a Trans person convicted of molesting anyone in a public restroom but there are daily events of MEN convicted of molesting men in men’s restrooms and MEN molesting women in women’s restrooms.
Do they know that Congress MEN are more likely to commit a lewd crime in the men’s room? Let’s prohibit Congress MEN from using all public facilities.
‘So You Think You Can Trans’
- (ABC COMEDY)
Bathroom laws need to be sorted out quickly, because there are 25 million trans people busting for a piss. (Sniff, sniff, tee-hee.)
Cassie Workman breaks it down.
I dedicate this to the people of America’s ‘Coal Country’.
- digging coal mines,
- breathing coal pollution,
- destroying your mountain tops,
- killing your friends and family in mine explosions,
- enriching corporate coal bosses at your impoverishment.
We outsiders await your coming demise as ‘thinning the herd’. Soon we shall no longer be forced to support your lifestyle and ways through special Black Lung programs draining our Social Security and Medicare finances.
Some day you will all die off in extinction same as we witnessed tobacco consumers.
Meanwhile, we in renewable energy environments breath clean air and enjoy the fruits of clean Earth
‘One more reason to move away from coal and towards sustainable, clean energy.’ via The New York Times.
‘Black Lung Disease Comes Storming Back in Coal Country’
‘Hundreds of cases of advanced black lung disease have been found among miners in Central Appalachia.’
Alana offers this:
- ‘Paradise’ by John Prine
Thank you, Dear Reader, for another trip down memory lane.
Share with those whom you love in your life.
Please return for another essay.
Thank you to the outside sources who made this essay possible.