I dedicate this site to you who blazed this path before me:
- Franklin Thonus (my Uncle Frank, who was murdered during his transition – 1970)
- Alan L. Hart
- Dora Richter
- Lily Elbe
- Michael Dillon
- Billy Tipton
- Christine Jorgensen
- April Ashley
- Jan Morris
- Jackie Shane
- Laverne Turner
- Sylvia Herrera
- Martha P. Johnson
- Victoria Cruz
- Sylvia Rivera
- Stormé Delarverie
- Miss Major Griffin-Gracy
- Reed Erickson
- Lynn Conway
- Phyllis Frye
- Denise (my mentor)
- Linda (my co-worker)
- Renee Richards
- Lou Sullivan
- Steve Dain
- Joanna Clark (Sister Mary Elizabeth Clark)
- Karen Ulane
- Maria Masters (my 1980s pen pal)
- Willmer Broadnax
- Holly Boswell
- Althea Garrison
- Dani Berry
- Millye (my support group friend)
- Regina (Alana brought us together at church)
Without you, I would not be here.
Without you, our successors would not be here.
Without you, Our Community would not experience our advancements.
Without you, there would be a bleak future.
Thank you, my predecessors, one and all, named and un-named.
- Let me know of someone you consider a pioneer among Our Trans Community whom you want to list among these notables.
This web-site will contain pieces of my personal life as well as presenting my interests beyond my life; I am more than an inter-sexed transsexual.
- I played guitar and piano growing up; I wrote my own compositions – more than 200 – from folk, to rock, to classical.
- Photography has been my hobby, passion, and side career: SLR camera photography and developing, 8mm and Super 8 film, and videography (both personal and professional; see: ‘http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/music/eat-the-document-6421801’).
- My college education includes study in law, psychology, business administration, and medical science.
- I held varied work careers, whether part-time or full-time of either temporary or permanent status:
- radio DJ (1973 – 1985),
- automobile mechanic (1975 – 1976),
- school teacher (1977 – 1978) (1981 – 1985)
- personnel administrator (1978 – 1985),
- licenced psych tech / nursing aid / pharmacy volunteer (1985 – 1990),
- TV crew and producer (1986 – 2014),
- health insurance utilisation review (1986 – 1989),
- public assistance case manager (1990 – 1993),
- payroll specialist (1993 – 1999), and
- risk management fiscal specialist / accountant (1999 – 2010).
- My life has been highly affected by my travels:
- I witnessed Maribor and Dachau (1971 – 1973).
- I met Elie Wiesel when he was a guest lecturer for the ‘Seeds of World Conflict’ course at University of Utah (Autumn 1983 quarter).
- I am a ‘student of the Shoah’.
I was twice a whistle-blower. Each time, it involved my employer firing me as a Transsexual in retaliation for my expose’ against them. I obtained resolution through both the Unemployment Insurance process and the legal system who each time determined these employers conducted ‘intolerable working conditions’.
- (a) The first was where I worked as a federal employee (1977 – 1985). I was finishing my Transition from male to female and I was experiencing my complete ‘male fail’. My supervisor thought I was a female pretending to be employed as a male (my ‘Victor / Victoria’ era): ‘We can’t have that here’, she told me. I filed a whistle-blower action in my defence, that led to both the Secretary of Agriculture and the Chief of the Forest Service getting caught committing perjury during their sworn testimony to Congress, and ended with the agency’s ultimate retaliation against me as a Transsexual.
- (b) The second was where I worked as an employee for an agency of the State of Arizona (1990 – 2010). A manager called me to her office and questioned me why the Social Security Administration’s discrepancy list suddenly reported me as male (2006). The agency relied on an SSA error; they wrongly presumed that I was a male working as a female, a female Transitioning to male, or who knows what. I filed a counter-complaint documenting nearly 200 criminal acts committed by my agency management (April 2008). Their retaliation came clear when a representative from HR came to my desk and told me that the agency had a choice (August 2008):
- (1) fire the supervisor and manager (‘not likely because they are management’, she told me) or
- (2) fire me (their cowardly way out).
- Guess which way that decision went. My Director presented papers to me with the charge that being Transsexual made me ‘mentally unfit’ to be a State of Arizona employee (August 2008). My Director had the nerve to admit to three more new federal felonies during my whistle-blower hearing and he has never been prosecuted (obviously, being a connected political appointment gets you a free pass to commit crimes and evade prosecution in this State). I fought through the process to keep my job til it became pointless – my agency Director refused to allow me to return to work despite winning my case and an order for restoration to duty (October 2010).
- I occasionally devise ‘Edipictstorials’ as amusements (2010 – Present). I draw caricatures and write editorial commentary on politics and current events. I am not quite a news junkie, but, as ‘They’ say, you’re not surprised if you are paying attention. I will post my musings for your dining and dancing pleasure.
Life takes many trials and an abundance of errors. It is a learning process that does not cease.
This web-site includes exposing and facing my failures, learning from my failures, making amends, and my un-ending journey toward maturity. I am not embarrassed about my life. I apologise for my failures; I cherish my successes.
How to use this site.
Many essays are personal reflections about my life experiences. Other posts are my political commentary and my philosophical musings.
Then I present to you, Dear Reader, information to use as a resource and reference guide:
- ‘Incognito’ (7 Aug 2015): Documenting my change in pictures.
- ‘Republicans (Part 1): Naming Them’ (20 Sep 15): Exposing stealth and ‘Hollywood Elite’ Republi-cons.
- ‘Trans*Spectrum of Arizona In Their Own’ (9 Apr 2016): Information and Resource Guide for TransSpectrum of Arizona.
- ‘Dr. Chettawut Tulayaphanich’ (11 Jul 2016): Reference Guide for those considering Chettawut Clinic (SRS / GCS, BA, FFS, and other options).
- ‘Stanford Gender Dysphoria Program’ (24 Sep 2016): Historical documentation – Stanford University Medical Center’s ‘Gender Dysphoria’ program (1977).
- ‘Information Please’ (9 Oct 16): A listing of Phoenix-area support groups.
- ‘Janus Information Facility’ (9 May 2017): Historical documentation – Janus’ ‘Information for the Family of the Transexual and of Children with Gender Identity Disturbances’ (sic) (1977).
More will be added in the future.
- ’Practical Issues Of Trans And Transition’: General information about being Trans, experiencing Transition, what to do, medical care, selecting a surgeon, pre-op preparation, post-op recovery.
Up-date for October 2015:
- Check out my revised ‘Incognito’ post for additional narrative and newly re-discovered pictures of my early appearance as Sharon.. (Done: 13 Oct 15)
- See also: ‘Susan’s Place’ – Topic: ‘The All New ‘Before & After Topic v 3.0’ – Reply #1632 (‘https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,168444.1620.html’); that ‘Reply #’ is subject to change pending additions or deletions to that thread.
- I will be posting an essay challenging Roman Catholic Pope Francis I; you know my story as a former Catholic if you have been reading these pages. (Done: 5 Oct 15)
- I will be posting an essay about possibly discovering the identity of my birth mom. Truth really is stranger than fiction. (Done: 17 Oct 15)
- ‘A picture is worth a thousand words.’ Stand-by this mid-November for those few ‘thousand words’.
- (29 Nov 15): I apologise for not posting more items sooner and for not fixing the last two blogs. I will get to those. The next post is a few corresponding days late but the message remains both timely and timeless fixed around the JFK assassination plot.
Up-date for December 2015:
- I did my own thesis on the ‘Cain and Abel Syndrome’ and first-born children in birth order. My elder sister Kathy will really hate me for exposing her in-grained behaviour. (3 Jan 16)
Let’s see what the new year 2016 has in store for us all.
Take care – Enjoy! – HUGGSS – Repeat.
Up-date for January 2016:
A new year starting with ‘Hellos’ and ‘Good-byes’; or rather ‘Fare-thee-wells’; or still rather in honour of my friends and others who travelled to Thailand, new words that they taught me: ‘Sahwdee kah’ and ‘Kapung kah’.
- Hello, Bev. Excuse me, Beverly. It’s only fair.
- Hello, Indonesia. I had plans to be there this year (2016); maybe next year (2017).
- Hello, good-bye to Yann and Qian. Stay well at Riyad, Yann. Qian, my ‘sister’, we are both Li; I hope all goes well and we visit next year (2017).
- Hello, good-bye to Ildi and Evelyn; thank you for Thursday’s ‘ceremony’. Ildi: temples, taxis, rail, orange flags, the Metro and the SkyTrain, and photography were great experiences we can remember through all our pictures and video. Evelyn: long talks of QuadCopters, drones, electric cars, electronic engineering, photography, computers, and our shared lives bringing us together.
- Hello to Jamie and Maddy. Truly wishing you well at Ye-son, Jamie; too bad you missed knowing me better by undue influence. Maddy, thank you for being a great neighbour and conversationalist, wow to all your aeronautical computer graphics, sorry that I fell asleep during ‘Battlestar Galactica’, thank you for the cheeseburger and fries; I have been busy attending sessions at the local Apple Store, now I really know how to use the iPad; we are Greek soul-mates, to boot.
- Hello to Dawn. Someone told me that the street is called ‘Trans Alley’. Who knew so many collectible American cars? Edsel!
- Hello to my new Aussie friends: Christina, Zoe, and Christie. Thank you, Christie, for taking time to share your computer expertise; next year will be your big event.
- Hello to Jutta, my new Chinese friend who taught me to use chopsticks; fish stomach soup was delicious but coconut water tasted like old shoe (an acquired taste?).
- Hello to Christopher, my Aussie friend of Greek ancestry. Enjoy the rosemary and the gelatin.
Up-date for April 2016:
- Hello Japan; welcome aboard!
- I leave it to others who provided visuals for your perusal – photographs, flyers, information – on a few posts this month. They can say it better than I.
- Keri and Chloe: Welcome to the alumnae. Everything feels normal now, eh. Soon you will be experienced offering your insight to others as you pass the torch to the next generation.
- Yes, Mickey, you can do it now from small-town America where you live. Your opportunities and resources of today far exceed what I experienced available 40-some years ago. It may require more effort than residing at a full-service big city; the end results are well-worth it. My only regret is that, looking back, I could have done better yet I am quite satisfied with my life decisions. This web-site is testament to that.
- Ildi, thank you for checking back (14 Apr 16).
Up-date (22 Apr 16):
In the news. Maybe we of our community can show our support for Target and other businesses that show support for us.
‘Transgender Restrooms and Fitting Rooms? 162,000 Sign ‘Boycott Target Pledge’ in 1 Day’ – By Melanie Hunter (22 Apr 16; 10:43 a.m. EDT)
- ‘(CNSNews.com) – A pro-family group has launched a boycott of Target after the retail store made it clear on Tuesday that its bathrooms and changing facilities can be used by anyone according to their gender identity.’
- Kathy, Beverly delivered that package – six years late. I was correct – it is not bigger than a bread box. Ever wonder how well Beverly could be employed if she told her clients and customers that she would make them wait six years for an appointment the way she did it to me? It is exactly what I wrote to her – she did not rate me important enough to take 30 minutes of her precious time to dump off that box in six years yet she had plenty of time to travel 500 miles out of state to you each year, travel on business, go on vacations, and ignore me since 1993 when she and Aunt Pat un-invited me to Thanksgiving Dinner. She complained that I resided 30 minutes distant, yet not once did she (or you) pick up the telephone, call me, send an e-mail to me, and I would have gladly traipsed 30 minutes to collect that travesty of a package. When she delivered that box, she could not be bothered to stay any longer than it took to toss it out her car window as she drove by. Okay, that last line is literary licence, but only by a sliver.
- Alana, Justine, Jessica, Tira, Gwen, and others at Cash-Inn – thank you for a great time dancing, talking, sharing pictures of our ‘children’. As described here, I had not been dancing since the time of Disco (1980) when I fended off unsuspecting female dates feeling me and not finding what they expected; tonight, I had no fear, I was perfectly comfortable with you as you with me. The hours passed too quickly. Let’s make this happen again.
Up-date (May 2016) for ‘Crimes and Punishments and Forgiveness’:
- The jury found Mike guilty as charged. The court sentenced him to a minimum 10 years in prison.
Up-date (28 Jun 16):
- Hey, Brasil! Thanks for checking in. My dad taught at the American-international school at Sao Paulo (1974 – 1976). Is it still operating? If I recall correctly, he told me that he resided at an apartment at the nearby Lutheran seminary.
Up-date (2 Jul 16):
We saw the passing of Elie Wiesel, one of the world’s heroes:
- ‘Indifference is the greatest sin. Hatred is a disease. You must speak, you must take sides, neutrality helps the oppressor.’
See my comment (above).
Up-date (12 Jul 16):
Somehow, my medical clinic got topics confused at my appointment today. Scott, the nurse, told me that he was puzzled. He asked why I was there for a F-M transition appointment yet taking estradiol and progesterone. I told Scott that I scheduled for my 6-months exam. Oops. Well, we had a good laugh. I shall have my gyn appointment re-scheduled to later next month.
Also today I met with Wallace. He is a graduate student conducting a research project for his thesis on trans studies. We interviewed for nearly four hours. Now I shall maintain a project diary during the next several weeks.
Up-date (16 Jul 16):
Hello to Nancy.
I contacted my cousin Nancy recently; we first met August 1976. I previously exchanged e-mails with her daughter through a genealogy project about 15 years ago; that exchange lasted about 18 months. Nancy replied to my latest post effort last Tuesday (12 Jul 16); I was elated. We had a good exchange on ‘Messenger’ for a couple hours. At one time during our texting, she asked about Nick; I dodged that topic. Oops, she is certainly out of the loop in family gossip. I spent the past few days pondering my reply to Nancy about Nick. I wrote an information brief about Nick and told her that I understand if she wants nothing further to do with me. I’ll allow Nancy all the time she needs to decide how she will or will not accept me. Having lost most family and friends these past four decades prepares me for the worst, though I hope for better.
Up-date (22 Jul 16):
‘Republicans (Part 3)’ (https://slimandme.wordpress.com/2016/07/22/republicans-part-3-the-2016-campaign-season/) will document the current political campaign – choice words spoken by Republicans and their allies. Check this post every week or so for new quotes added.
Up-date (23 Jul 16):
Yasou, Elliniki! Efharisto polla! I really miss where I lived (Pylaia and Maggana) and where I travelled (especially the islands of Kos, Tinos, Thasos, Crete, Rhodes, Santorini); that picture of me holding Slim was taken on Thasos.
Hello, India! Thank you for checking in on my birthday. I really hope to come visit your nation; I’m planning for January 2017.
Up-date (12 Aug 16):
Please check Alana’s new web-site – another ‘sister’ and sorority friend from the Thailand experience:
Alana wrote her autobiography, ‘Dreamy Morning’. She tells of her survival through many years and her rise to her new-found life.
Sahwdee Kah, Alana!
Up-date (14 Sep 16):
To those of you who return to re-read my posts at this site at a later date, you will find that I add pictures or other visuals to these pages.
Sometimes I also find the need to correct the spelling, punctuation, and grammar, or to re-edit for clarification or improvement.
I do not know what I shall add or where I shall post until the fancy hits me. I shall try to identify my insertions here at this page. Such as the pictures that I added to my ‘1978’ post.
Such is the way for a perfectionist – our tasks are never complete.
Up-date (12 Oct 16):
ABC News, PBS News, and NHK News reported the death of King Bhumibol, the Thai king, at age 88. The beloved Thai king served his nation for 70 years. I ask you, Dear Reader, to join in the 100 days of mourning in his honour and respect. I am grieved at his passing as one who is included among we who are associated with the Thai experience. I pray for wisdom for the new king at his investiture.
Up-date (23 Oct 16):
Curiously, WordPress statistics is showing that my ‘Silent Night’ post recently has been logging multiple hits to that page. Perhaps this activity is related to spirit friend Cara who has been posting her own articles to her web-site discussing ‘male privilege’. ‘Trans Deaths, White Privilege’ is an editorial written last year by Jenny Boylan, English professor at Barnard College. Allow this referral via ‘Kira Moore’s Closet’ web-site to take another look:
Of course, as spirit friend Cara re-asserted separately, we also need to take a second look at the deaths incurred due to hate crimes committed against trans persons and other LGBT members. Never forget!
Kapung khaf. Thank you.
Up-date (5 Nov 16):
Another November is here. Too soon to put to commemoration those who were here last year but here only in our hearts this year. There is on average one murdered trans person each week in this country – a nation that claims to be ‘civilised’; seems more ‘savage’ than otherwise. ‘Pulse’ comes to mind. The rest of the world is not much safer.
Take the time to remember those whose Earthly presence has been stolen from the community of human beings. May those who seek to do harm find love rather than persist their hate.
Up-date (10 Nov 16):
If you read / followed my ‘Republicans (Part 3)’, then you saw that my election prediction from July was spot on.
Take a gander at my post-election commentary (‘Post-election Post-mortem’ and ‘Republicans (Part 4)’).
My apologies, Dear Reader. Please allow me time to figure this out. My list of articles as shown on that right-hand column clips at so many listed items. Earlier articles remain at this web-site; for now you’ll need to click on that last blog listed then click back to whatever earlier article you need to find.
I was hoping that each post would appear at that right-hand column. Perhaps not. Perhaps I must group them by month.
Up-date (16 Dec 16):
I have entered a prolific writing phase. I currently have at least six new blogs to post plus several others in nearly complete though ‘draft’ stage.
Such as it is not having home wi-fi, I am limited to Library time or the opportunity to use free wi-fi at my grocery store, it seems that I end up sand-bagging much.
I shall try spreading these up-coming essays during the next week rather than dumping them all at one time.
My modest web-site here does not garner the millions of viewers as those fancy-dancey commercial sites. I average slightly more than a dozen views per day, sometimes more, sometimes less. One day last year there were more than 110 views. No matter how many of you come to this web-site, I graciously thank each and every one of you.
And any other language you wish to share.
Up-date (26 Jan 17):
I posted an addendum to ‘Welcome To Our Nightmare (Part 2)’.
The data recovery computer techies called to me the other day and reported that they might be able to restore my missing file – the essay that was scheduled to be the original ‘Welcome To Our Nightmare’. They will work on my Apple iPad some time during the next two weeks. Can I hold my breath that long? Stay tuned, Dear Reader.
Up-date (2 Feb 17):
Welcome ‘BlookUp’! I hope you enjoy the reading and reference items.
You are just in time for my latest post: ‘What’s Your Pain? What’s Your Pleasure?’
Up-date (15 Feb 17):
Bon jour, Mauritius!
Thank you for visiting.
Click the blue icon (<Follow ‘Slim and Me’>) in the upper right-side column if you wish to follow me and receive alerts to added blogs. I am prepared for another post that I hope you and other friends will enjoy.
Please come again.
The computer service still has not yet restored my Apple iPad.
Up-date (3 Mar 17):
Happy Birthday, Clinton.
Here’s wishing you a good day. Say ‘Hello’ to Kiyoko, I miss her sushi.
Up-date (5 Mar 17):
‘recipesbydaniel’, welcome to this neighbourhood. Enjoy you visit; please come again soon.
Up-date (17 Mar 17):
The ‘statistics’ page for this web-site reports numerous people are browsing my Dr. Chettawut post every day (‘Dr. Chettawut Tulayaphanich’, 11 Jul 2016). I hope that narrative is helping those planning their Thai experience as well as providing sufficient general information for those planning their surgery elsewhere.
I developed a revised and expanded version as a guide for friends planning their trip to Thailand or planning their surgery with another clinic. I shall post it either in a few weeks, may wait for a friend to return from her journey to Dr. Chettawut (May 2017) so that I can include her perspectives, or post the new version anyway and add her story when she returns.
Up-date (20 Apr 17):
There continues heavy traffic to my ‘Dr. Chettawut Tulayaphanich’ (11 Jul 2016) post. Thank you for checking that page. I hope that information helps.
As I up-dated (above), a local friend recently announced her pending trip to Dr. Chettawut. That led me to compose this amended personal guide for her excursion and resulted in beginning a re-write that will contain much more additional information than the original. My apologies, Dear Reader. I’ve been delayed; I expect to post that, er, ‘revision’, if you will, in a week or two.
Up-date (24 Apr 17):
My friend Tess recently began her journey.
Check out her new web-site:
Tess also reminds everyone who wants it and needs it, that there is an ear to hear your struggle:
- 1 (800) 273 8255
Today is the Commemoration Day of the Armenian Genocide committed against them by the Turks.
If you seem comforted by the recent Turkish elections securing President Erdogan the new title of Fascist Dictator, then you have much to learn.
Remember, Hitler boasted that no one would remember the slaughter of the Armenians, therefore, he could slaughter millions and the world would stay silent. Hitler was totally correct – the world stood silent to the mass murder of at least 15 million of our citizens of the world: Jews, Roma, Communists, Unionists, Gays / Lesbians, the mentally and physically ill.
I bear witness both as a ‘student of the Shoah’ having seen the aftermath of Dachau and having the opportunity to be a student of Elie Wiesel.
I also bear witness to the Armenia Genocide. The school campus where I attended 10th Grade and 11th Grade (Anatolia) was among the targets of the Turk’s slaughter.
Genocide persists through the years. We are witnessing it at Syria, Turkey (still), Sudan, Nigeria. Eh. Pick a place, many places, and you will find genocide without a response from the ‘developed’ world.
Look here at home, America. Obama campaigned to do something – anything – he followed the Constitution. Congressional Republikans led by Ryan and McConnell denied the vote in Congress and denied the expenditure of taxpayer money to help the people of Syria. Why did Republikans oppose Obama’s efforts? Because those Republikans are siding with Assad / Syria and Putin / Russia.
Remember, too, that McCain’s call to ‘arm the rebels’ was to arm ISIS, not the civilians of Syria whom Assad and Putin have been murdering with impunity.
Don’t be fooled by Donald Two-Two’s ‘bombing’ of the Syrian airfield. Trump alerted Putin that those bombs were coming – Putin alerted Assad and, bingo!, Trump’s bombs hit nothing but dirt. All for show from ‘showman’ Republi-con to his gullible flock.
Up-date (29 Apr 17):
Please join with me extending our ‘Get Well’ wishes to three friends of the Thai experience who need your prayers and good thoughts:
- Alana (PAI – 2014)
- Bree (Chettawut Clinic – 2016)
- Kara (Chettawut Clinic – 2008)
Up-date (9 May 17):
Today is ‘Pinning Ceremony’ day for Hil – her testament to her hard work leading to her advancing career.
Now on to bigger and better!
I posted my Stanford University transition program notes (see my blog: ‘ Stanford University’, 24 Sep 16) and promised to post my Janus Information Facility transition program notes.
Here I’ll give it a wing and begin posting Janus pages – as many as I can post at this Public Library wif-fi sitting until their service closes for the night.
Here’s their web-site where you can read the information:
‘Decades’ digital side channel is promoting that next weekend’s binge show will be ‘Wiseguy’.
They have not yet announced which arcs they will be showing. The best ‘Wiseguy’ arcs, in this Editor’s opinion, are:
- ‘Pilgrims of Promise’ (see my blog: ‘The Whole World Is Watching’, 15 Feb 17)
- Corruption in the New York City fashion industry
- Sonny Steelgrave
Set your VCR, DVR, or whatever you use to catch those episodes.
Up-date (23 May 17):
Welcome ‘xanthipaprika’. Glad you found this site.
We know about Xanthi. This picture was from 1973.
Up-date (9 Jun 17):
I incurred some form of illness, perhaps pneumonia, that has thrown me for loops the past two weeks.
Kapung khaf, Alana, for taking me to the doctor at the out-patient clinic last week. I was in no condition to drive my self. Additional consideration was a motorist here in the Phoenix area who killed two other motorists; he told police that all he did was drink a dose of cough syrup.
No way was I going to drive to the out-patient clinic while on meds or while feeling woozy!
Please. Dear Friends and Readers, do NOT drive while you are ill or taking any medications that alter your capacity to operate such a dangerous piece of road equipment!!! A friend will drive you and save everyone the grief of a collision.
I am trying to make the most of a few hours of wi-fi time. I will answer your correspondences as best as I can.
Brad, I found the Dasahori Kids site – what a pleasant time travel journey. I was there only one year; thank you for including me. I tried to post my recollections and pictures. Efharisto poli!
Qian, you wrote that you want to use Lily as your Western name. That is a great name! I think it fits you well. I shall find a way to meet you at WeChat as soon as i can; I shall follow your e-mail’s directions.
Welcome ‘KittiesoftheWeb’. Here’s hoping that you will enjoy reading these posts. Meanwhile, I shall check your site
Up-date (3 Aug 17):
A brief explanation for my absence and limitations. I appear a bit ragged and worse for wear, eh?
That pneumonia persisted. It remains in residual amounts. I awake during the night, choking on fluid in my lungs, gagging and gasping for air.
I also began experiencing agonising pains in my knees. I could barely stand for any duration or walk any distance. I tired easily. I had to sit on the edge of the bathtub when I took my shower.
Those and other issues led me to a mental depression.
- I had no appetite; I barely ate during May, June, and July. As a consequence, I have had only four bowel movements since May; the first two were black.
- I gave up ‘duty’ for perhaps at least eight weeks – very unlike me, the one who was otherwise befriending my numbered companions and hitting the Big ‘O’ every session. I finally went to #1 last night – I made it for 45 minutes at five inches. I had to stop because I was in pain from not having a bowel movement in nearly a week.
Alana drove me to my appointment with my primary care physician last week – a great big Kapung Khaf to you, my Thai experience Sister friend.
My blood pressure was quite low:
- Sitting: 90 / 60
- Standing: 80 / 50
I donated to Red Cross a few months ago (when I attained my 9th gallon). My blood pressure was a more normal 120 / 70.
My physician reminded me that she diagnosed me a couple years ago having osteo-arthritis in my knees. She scheduled me for up-dated radiological exams next week.
My physician also told me that I have an enlarged heart chamber.
I had a weird experience last week when I awoke in pain during the night. I saw my thighs and lower legs, but I imagined that I did not see my knees – I thought my knees were gone. Yowee!
I think the Ibuprofen is working. My knee pains are diminished. I can stand to shower. I can walk the distance to the bus stop without pain and without losing my breath.
Through these experiences, I have had little wi-fi time at the Public Library. Thus, I have had little time to be current corresponding with you, my friends. I will do my best to write to you as time develops.
Up-date (22 Aug 17):
Wai and Sahwdee Khaf.
Fellow Chettawut Clinic, Thai traveller, and patient companion friend Linda presented to me a neat souvenir of her excursion: this book of Thai sites. I can now get a better retrospective of where I went and what I saw. There is so much to see, so much to do.
A great big ‘Kapung Khaf’ to you!
I shall cherish it always.
It will also prove practical when – not if – I return to Thailand.
My first journey was a mix of personal revision and companionship. I resided at Baan Siri Cottage #4085 during the span of three calendar months, but I departed wanting to do more, see more, take more pictures and video, share the enjoyment with a friend next time.
Though my next visit may be primarily as patient companion, we are both enthused to see all we can and not leave one stone un-turned.
Linda, Alana, and I shall be reminiscing and sharing our adventures.
Yesterday morning was Solar Eclipse here in the USA – maximum eclipse was at 10:33 am local Phoenix time.
Eclipse forecasters first told us that Phoenix, Arizona, would get 70%, then as time approached, they dropt it to maybe 60%.
- What did you get?
- Were your skies clear?
Nope, I didn’t notice much difference here as far as darkness or temperature.
I took a few iPad pictures of the eclipse image using my human projector: forming a circle with my fingers and projecting that image.
The next solar eclipse here will be 2024.
Up-date (25 Aug 17):
President Crooked Donald came to Phoenix to give a campaign 2020 speech (22 Aug 17). There amassed a gathering of peacefull peace protestors outside the event; they were greeted by the Phoenix Police riot squad.
Here are commentary of that Phoenix police riot against the peacefull peace protestors:
- ASU law professor Ed Maguire spoke on KAET TV (‘Horizon’, 23 aug 17) confirming Sherri’s report that Phoenix Police over-acted against the peacefull peace protestors.
- KUAT TV (‘Arizona Week’, 25 Aug 17) showed clean footage: Phoenix Police attired in riot gear used tear gas, pepper spray, rubber bullets to attack the lawfull, peacefull assembly.
- KAET TV (‘Horizon’, 25 Aug 17): ‘It was a very peacefull protest.’ ‘Potentially the police over-reacted.’
More to come on my next post.
Up-date (5 Sep 17):
It’s another girl!
Up-date (9 Sep 17):
Please send your prayers, good vibes, or whatever your belief to our friends along the Florida hurricanes.
Dawn: Stay safe. Your cars better be stored well.
Janet: You reside at Key West. Yow!
Up-date (23 Sep 17):
‘Happy Birthday to Slim’
Today is Slim’s Happy Birthday. He was born on this date in 1969.
He died prematurely as I described in an earlier post (‘My Lhasa Apsos’).
Of course, had Slim otherwise led a natural life, then he still would have been long dead.
I shall always miss him.
Up-date (14 Oct 17):
Get well, Al!!!
You’re coming home next week.
Sweetness, a young stray cat, graced my life these past eight months or so.
I saw her enjoying her first bird catch. She enjoyed my massages.
I have not seen her since some time last week.
- Was she killed?
- Did a tomcat harm her?
- Did a neighbour take her
It was one recent evening when I returned home. Ghost, another stray, was all over me, meowing frantically, desperately insisting that I allow her to come inside my house for her protection. I wish that I could communicate in Cat to comprehend her meows.
I hate thinking the worst happened to Sweetness; it has happened before – to Goldie, Spunky, and other stray cats who found refuge at my home and backyard.
I still have Ghost and Mama.
Calendar of coming events:
- Storyscope: 17 Oct 17, 6.30 pm. Tell your story of home.
- Rainbow Fest Phoenix: 21 and 22 Oct 17, til 6 pm. I shall be working both the Trans Spectrum and the PFLAG booths. Come say ‘Hello’ and enjoy the events.
- Trans Spectrum Masquerade Party: 28 Oct 17, 6 pm to 11 pm.
- TDOR: 20 Nov 17. Attend where you reside. Pay tribute to those whose lives were stolen when all they wanted was to be themselves.
Up-date (05 Dec 17):
I shall add you to my reference list at this home page as soon as I can re-learn how I got the others there in the first place.
Let’s all take some time to browse their sites for what they offer us.
Thank you for picking up a post from this web-site. So much reading of the other reference posts.
Your Q&As are great reading. You’re good. We each decide our own path.
I suppose there was little change
- from 1973 when my 11th Grade ‘Psychology’ class taught that both transsexuals and transvestites are ‘perverted’
- to your 1980s ‘blokey’ days when your dictionary still posted its harmfull insinuation.
By now we have relegated them to the curiosity of history.
Up-date (30 Dec 17):
You may have seen or read the news about a cis-female who received a transplanted uterus and successfully bore a child.
This was not news if you read my earlier post:
- ‘Farewells Are Not Forever’; ‘Re-visit Vestiges of Vestigial Cells’ (17 Jan 16).
Fact is, I researched, studied, wrote about this back in the early 1980s while doing independent study at the University of Utah Medical Center.
We can advance this medical specialty with the help of today’s younger generation of medical students.
Well, Dear Reader, so it went for 2017.
Hopefully, your year went well and your plans for 2018 will proceed to bigger and better.
It looks like I’m on my way to my journey for 2018 – wherever this life will take me.
Maybe we shall meet along the way. Maybe our paths will never cross. No matter, we walk in friendship.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and whatever holiday you celebrate during this season of good will.
Kala Hristougena kai Hronia Polla.
Sook San Wan Khith Maat. Sahwdee Piee Mai.
I was reminiscing of my old days at Tucson’s Oasis TV / TCCC community television station: Jai, Kevin, Michael, Rob, Larry, Eddie.
My thoughts drifted to my late friend Arthur Miscione and then to his ‘Eggs Ganga’:
Today marks the 40th Anniversary of my enrollment with Stanford University Medical Center’s ‘Gender Dysphoria’ program.
Where did all those years go!
Up-date (2 Jan 18):
I posted the latest up-date to
- ‘Republicans (Part 1): Naming Them’.
Thank you, Dear Reader, for checking this list.
Up-date (15 Jan 18):
Allow me to celebrate two year anniversaries to my Chettawut Clinic sisters: Lily, Yann, Evelyn, Madi, Christina, Zoe, Karee, Chloe. We all had a great time making friendships, seeing the sites of Thailand; welcome as you begin your third year. Add to that my Sahwdee Khaf to Ildi, Christie, Jamie, Dawn, Wanladda.
Bree and I have spent these past few days enjoying each other’s company, Bree inviting me to her great hospitality, following our Saturday support group meeting.
Thank you, Bree:
- for a great Mexican dinner Saturday night,
- for inviting me to your home,
- for sharing our deep thoughts,
- for wanting me to do better in my life (as I for you),
- for your mom’s delicious home cooking – her apples and coconut were yummy,
- for watching amazing play-off football games,
- for pizza,
- for teaching me about home wi-fi and letting me use your home wi-fi,
- for fun time in your hot tub (no, Dear Reader, there was no hanky-panky, just great conversation).
Bree and I may occasionally hold disparate opinions on life issues. We may disagree about some topics, but I am open to listen to your perspectives and to learn from you. We each endured many common confrontations that make us friends.
Marsha, if you are happening upon this site, I wish you well and hope that you re-join our support group.
Up-date (26 Jan 18):
Time to meditate on Holocaust Remembrance Day.
Never Again means Never Again!
My big Kapung Khaf to Thai Sister Alana.
I shared with her several weeks ago about Al Stewart’s song ‘Denise at 16’.
I had a Denise, she was my mentor in 1974. I took that song as my way to encompass emotions as she led me to my Transition.
Alana quietly learned ‘Denise at 16’ and posted it to YouTube. This was Alana’s gift to me.
Kapung Khaf, Alana.
A million Kapung Khaf’s for giving yourself . This means so much. It was a far better anniversary gift than all the meals at Souper and Mandarin combined.
I cried tears of joy, happiness.
Sadness for Denise. I recently read in a post that she died several years ago. Is this true? So young – she is only a few years older than I am.
I would not be here if it weren’t for her:
- she gave courage to me
- she kindly nudged me on my way.
Kapung Khaf to Denise, too.
Up-date (16 Feb 18):
Happy Lunar New Year!
It’s the Year of the Dog – something to bark at.
Up-date (26 Feb 18):
It’s another girl!
We are Chettawut Clinic and Baan Siri friends – we both stayed at #4085. Quite the co-incidence.
Up-date (3 Mar 18):
Happy Birthday, Clint.
Here’s wishing you another good year. Say ‘Hello’ to Kiyoko.
Watch for the essay that I shall be posting.
Up-date (29 Mar 18):
Amia Tyrae, Transgender Woman Of Color, Killed In Baton Rouge
‘The 28-year-old is the seventh known trans person killed this year.
Amia Tyrae, a black transgender woman, was reportedly found dead in a motel room in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, early Monday.
Tyrae is the seventh known transgender person killed in 2018, according to LGBTQ advocacy group GLAAD. Of those, she is the fifth trans woman of color.
NeVaa White, a friend of Tyrae’s, told Mic that Tyrae had lived her life as an openly trans woman since 2009. White said Tyrae was bullied and “didn’t have an easy life.” She also said she was a wonderful friend.
“She made family with her peers in the LGBT community of Baton Rouge,” White said. “Our trans lives matter. We are living, loving people.”
Tyrae was memorialized on social media, including by author Juno Dawson and the HRC.
Violence against the trans community reached an all-time high last year, according to a November 2017 report from LGBTQ advocacy group Human Rights Campaign. At least 25 transgender people were killed last year; of those, 84 percent were people of color, 80 percent were trans women and more than 75 percent were under the age of 35. A majority of those killed were victims of gun violence.’
By Alanna Vagianos, Women’s Reporter, HuffPost
(28 Mar 18, 01:11 pm ET)
‘Violence Against Transgender People Has Gotten Worse’
‘Miss Trans America Founder Is The First Known Transgender Person Killed This Year’
Up-date (4 Apr 18):
I finally delivered my heart-felt apology to Mary 40-some years later.
Up-date (29 Apr 18):
We acknowledge one century of advances in Transsexuology. This year marks 100 years since our first contemporary Transition. Wow! Our First Century. Hart is surely a foundation for Our Community – quite relevant to where we are today – we owe him our respect more so than today’s Trans TV celebrities.
‘Alberta Lucille Hart grew up in Albany, Oregon. She graduated from University of Oregon Medical School in 1917.
After graduation, Hart underwent a hysterectomy and lived the rest of her life as a man. Hart is among the first female-to-male transsexuals to undergo surgery in transition.
Dr. Alan L. Hart practiced medicine in several locations across the west, sometimes forced to abandon his practice and move on when his gender was called into question. In 1928, Dr. Hart received a Master’s degree in radiology from University of Pennsylvania, and eventually became an expert on tubercular radiology and the use of X-ray medicine and the treatment of tuberculosis. He also published four novels with autobiographical themes, including medicine and homosexuality.
Alan Hart died of heart failure in 1962. Edna, his widow, died 20 years later; she left the majority of her estate to the Medical Research Foundation of Oregon in memory of her husband.’
Up-date (4 May 18):
Four Dead in Ohio.
May this be the force with you.
‘Tin soldiers and Nixon coming.
Four dead in Ohio.’
During the Viet Nam War era, from Truman to Ford, more people died in that war – both civilian and combat soldier – under Nixon than all other presidents combined.
Up-date (3 Jul 18):
My apologies for not writing a new blog sooner. I have several essays in the works – most not long enough for an individual entry – I shall try consolidating related topics.
I have been making new entries to the Republicans (#1) – Naming Them. I shall give the ‘Up-date’ date a current date. Okay?
Also, the weather. Phoenix is hot this time of the year. I lack home air conditioning or cooling which means limited time using my PC without over-heating it. I have not been to the Public Library Wi-Fi for as much as before. Maybe these are excuses. Or explanations. At least you know.
Thank you for bearing with me.
Up-date (20 Nov 18):
Today is TDOR.
We come here today to commemorate and memorialise those who walked this path, prepared this path for us.
Three hundred sixty-eight trans, non-binary and gender-variant people, at least, who were murdered in the 12 months from 1 October 2017 to 30 September 2018.
Twenty-eight of the trans murder victims were reported to be teenagers, with some as young as 16.
The list makes for difficult reading.
Trans people run the risk of losing their lives just for being who they are.
‘It is a mourning day, and it is also a day to be together with our communities, to keep existing and resisting.’
– Gay Star News
Up-date (6 Dec 18):
Lisa – Congratulations!
It’s a girl!
Up-date (16 Dec 18):
To my visitors from France – Merci beaucoup. Thank you for visiting. Please return.
Up-date (23 Jan 19):
My father would have been age 92 if he had been alive. Instead, he chose to die at age 62. I am age 62; I am older than my father ever will have lived.
How I wonder what relationship my father and I would have had if he had been alive longer than age 62,
My father travelled from his home at Arizona to visit me at Utah (Christmas 1982), noticed hospital gear, and asked what happened. I was reluctant to go into details about my exploratory and hysterectomy surgeries (November 1982); I didn’t need another argument with him, He snooped through my personal belongings while I was at work.
I also was secretive with family about my second surgery, a female urethroplasty (May 1983).
Today also marks the 3rd Anniversary of my third operation – this time with the good Dr. Chettawut of Bangkok. This was an event for me to want to share my joy, but both my parents were long ago deceased and no family wanted to see me:
- My sister Kathy refused to visit with me when I had a stop-over where she lives near Los Angeles.
- Cousin Bev refused to visit me at the airport when I flew from Phoenix.
No family has seen fit to invite me to visit them, not since 1993.
Up-date (16 Feb 2019):
It’s a girl!
It’s two girls! Ella and Missy.
Thank you to (T-Central.blogspot.com) for your support.
Dear Reader, check their site for good information.
Up-date (1 Apr 2019):
Sunday, 31 Mar 2019, was Trans Day of Visibility.
Some people marched. Some people socialised. Some people commemorated members of Our Community who passed – since last year, since before. Some may not be with us next year.
This news report is skewed to blame Our Community:
How’s about society come to accept us, accept our desire for a decent education and opportunity for successful employment, rather than relegating us to dangerous work that provides negligible paths to improve our lives.
TDoV 2019 is passed. Likely that the only readers will be people finding this in some future curiosity.
Lemme ask you, Dear Reader of the Future. Did any of your non-Trans family or ‘friends’ make an effort to show support for you, a member of Our Community?
Great for you who received support.
Pffft! I have family who know that I post here. They rarely correspond with me; business, not pleasure, the odd times when they do.
Not one family acknowledged my existence on TDoV. Not any. I can’t remember when was the last time any family sent any friendly correspondence to me. Or called me. Not from my sister; I have not seen her since 1993. Not from my family who reside within 30 minutes of me; I have not seen them since 1994. Not from family who reside elsewhere; I have not been welcome to travel and visit distant family since 1989 (not quite welcome to stay with my terminally ill father in a basement). My mother visited me in 1992; that ended poorly when she threatened me with her pistol.
They can’t be ‘family’. That is not what family does.
Up-date (2 Apr 2019):
I am so sad at today’s news of your dearest Keira’s passing.
Last week began with what was supposed to be a most wonderfully eventful experience for both of you. Now, one week later, and Keira is gone from her Earthly bounds.
I barely know you and Keira other than since your crisis began last week, yet I am grieving and crying for both of you.
My prayers for both of you.
Friendships are hard to find.
For most of us, we lose our family and those whom we had called ‘friend’. The best people, perhaps the only people, whom we can find for true friends are those of Our Community because, as we come to learn, to know us deep down pretty much requires someone who is also on this same journey.
Yes, Dear Reader. Do your part.
You do regular blood draws for your medical examinations, then you can donate your blood to the Red Cross.
Register with your Bone Marrow donation program.
Be certain to identify yourself as an organ donor when you apply for your driver’s licence or state ID card.
Please watch these videos:
Up-date (14 Apr 2019):
Songkran is 13 – 15 April 2019 (2063 on the Thai calendar if I am not mistaken).
To All My Thai Friends:
Dr. Chettawut, Thank you for everything!
May the coming year bring peace and joy.
More about Songkran:
Up-date (9 Jun 2019):
‘Tiananmen Square Massacre – 30 Years Later’
I finished adding a variey of pictures to provide a sense of those days of Chinese Democracy Spring.
Up-date (16 Jun 2019):
I re-discovered some old film negatives a couple months ago. I travelled to Tucson to visit a friends, complete some long-overdue errands, and to use the University of Arizona scanners to scan those negatives (I did not have a home scanner and the local Public Library scanners do not work with film negatives).
Among those negatives is a picture of Mincemeat and me at the Grambling, Louisiana, apartment where we lived during the Summer of 1969.
I posted that picture to the ‘My Lhasa Apsos’ page.
Yep, that picture is 50 years ago – from June 1969.
Up-date (21 Jun 2019):
Thank you, Andrea.
Yes – celebrate the Summer Solstice Day.
Update (15 Sep 2019):
Here’s an article about TERFs that came to my Facebook feed:
I searched the Internet in curiosity. Looks like the book is here:
‘GYN/ECOLOGY: The MetaEthics of Radical Feminism’ by Mary Daly
I read this book during the early-1980s. I need to read this again with a perspective of four decades passed.
Update (24 Dec 2019):
I successfully added a new Page:
– ‘Practical Issues Of Trans And Transition’.
This is a Resources page presenting questions to ask your self about who you are, information about how to Transition once you make your decision to move that direction.
Check it out.
Update (23 Jan 2020):
Here’s Megan’s blog about her experiences at Mount Sinai:
(https://genderworld.org/tag/bottom-surgery/) (look for the series ‘A Trip’)
Take time to read her essays at her web-site.
Update (16 Aug 2020):
I’m still here.
The temperature is hot where I live. Forty days of high daytime temperature exceeding 110F (what’s that, 45C?); forecast is to exceed 50 days, the prior record was 33 days. Global Warming? Ya think?
I lack home air conditioning. As such, the temperature is too hot to operate my PC, even at night. Using iPad is clumsy at best. Using smart-phone is impossible. Public Library has been closed since March during Coronavirus lockdown.
I have been accumulating bits and pieces for several items. I shall begin assembling different posts as drafts during the coming week or so, then publish them as they begin to take shape.
Today, I was loading numerous memes and images to my Media file that I expect to include with these new posts.
I welcome the opportunity to share with my WordPress companions.
To any other person, party, institution, or otherwise browsing or using this site or any other associated sites for their personal interest, studies, projects, business, or other purposes: Please respect my property as I respect yours. You do NOT have permission to automatically plagerise or mis-use any of my narrative, profile, pictures, posts, or graphics in whole or in part in any form or at any forum whether currently and / or in the future to enrich your commercial enterprises at my detriment. If you have done so or will do so, then I will be consider you violating my privacy and I shall have the right to invoke ramifications upon you for your transgressions. There is an easy way to avoid any complication between us: Just ask respectfully and I am eager to grant your wishes. Seek and ye shall find, ask and ye shall receive.
Efharisto. Thank you. Kapung kah.
(Hey, this is not really a rant.
Just that there are those of you who may be trolls running a commercial enterprise and want to steal my stuff without my permission – Nope.
But to you folks out there same as me who have your own little ol’ site and wanna share pictures and quotes, go for it and let me know so that I can take a browse and share your credits here.)